that so much is at stake.
most times,
i'm wrong.
alot of things work out
with time and the Human Race's
ability to adapt.
these days
im getting better
at walking away apathetically
without
consideration for the
unspoken obligations that
i used to impose upon myself.
so it seems that the more
thoughtful i decide to be,
the easier it is for me
to rationalize and justify
all sorts of self-centred decisions
that i decide to make.
i am only responding
to my innate instinct to survive-
if it gets too hard,
and especially if the opportunity costs
run too high,
i don't see why i need to start at all.
sometimes we just want to grow up
or grow "away" from where or what
we were.
alot of times, the world
will not allow us to.
but while this will always be a
necessary tension,
i need to know
that at least, i get a say in
where this tension leads me.
things will always look better
in retrospect but i make it
a point to remind myself
of the the less-than-honourable
reality that they were.
and yes,
in case you need to judge me,
this is precisely the kind
of person that i am.
9:43 PM